Archive for the ‘Positive Mindset’ Category

What kind of mood are you in right now? Excited about a job prospect? Grateful it’s a beautiful day? Pissed because someone didn’t return your call? Frustrated with the whole application process? The thing about riding on the unemployment roller coaster is that your emotions get tossed all over the place; often within a short amount of time.

One of the quickest ways to change your mood is with music. It’s like resetting the thermostat at home. If you’re down in the dumps listening to a country song about your honey driving off in your pick up truck with your best friend sure as heck won’t put a smile on your face…unless of course, you know the gas tank is on empty! If instead you check out You Tube and listen to something that makes you want to sing along, even if it’s off key, you’re more likely to let go of what’s bothering you.

If you’re preparing for a job interview, music can do anything from calm your fidgeting nerves to pump you up! It’s your choice depending on where you want to re-set your emotional thermostat. When I go into power mode wanting to come from a place of high energy like for an interview or before I speak at an event, I usually listen to Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus with the volume cranked all the way up! I literally feel my energy start to rise.

So, how about it? If you wanna Let Your Best Self Shine, let me introduce you to Laura Izibor. It’s like this 22 year old songwriter from Dublin, Ireland wrote her song Shine just for unemployed folks who need to add a little spring in their step. When you feel like the world is passing you by and life’s one big compromise, you know that there’s got to be something more.

I hope you enjoy Shine as much as I do! It’s sure to make you feel better whether you need to put some shine in your dreary day or you’re already shining and you want to glow like the sun!

 ”Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation) there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then Providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe’s couplets: Whatever you can do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. ”

                                                   – W.H. Murray, The Scottish Himalayan Expedition

People ask why it took me 15 months of being unemployed to start my business. For a life coach that seems like a fair  question. There are many long answers to this question. The process of healing and spiritual growth simply takes time. I continued to believe a job offer was right around the next corner. I didn’t know what I wanted to be “when I grew up”.

I tossed around a lot of ideas for businesses and for a few months worked with an excellent coach but I couldn’t make up my mind. I dropped out of my coaching group because a vision for my future was so muddled.

At some point, I stopped whining and wandering, and made a decision to reinvent my professional life. I made the commitment to become an entrepreneur. The first things on my agenda were to make a “failure is not an option” plan, start working with my business coach again, and finish writing my book, Surviving The Unemployment Roller Coaster: From Stress To Success.

The short answer to why it took me so long to start my business is I wasn’t committed. Once I boldly said “yes” to my dreams, everything…my beliefs, desires, expectations, attitude, creativity shifted and opportunities opened up. Each morning I mentally and emotionally recommit to take care of myself, create and be open to all the possibilities for my business, and Let My Best Self Shine in everything I do.

Life tosses out nasty curves without warning signs, potholes deep enough hit the earth’s inner core, and unexpected detours that take you the long, long way around. Most of us aren’t thrilled to find ourselves on the overcrowded unemployment expressway but here we are. We can think of it as a hellish road trip or enjoy the adventure as much as possible and see what we can learn. Here are a few of my favorite take aways from my job search.

There are worse things in life than being unemployed.

When you lose your job family, friends, and colleagues do care about you but they are busy. They have stuff going on in their own lives. You’re not front and center on their radar and simply don’t take the time to check on you.

Cooking at home is healthy, delicious, and cheap; and leftovers are free!

Speaking of free…I love things that are free! Free samples, free coupons, free events, free downloads, even buy one get one free. I despise those infomercial free systems that teach you how to make oodles of money at home with just your computer and some time. The CD is free but it’s impossible to stop them from charging your credit card $79.99 every month shipping and handling charges.

There are some incredibly kind, generous and ethical people in the world like an orthodontist who accepted the insurance payment for my root canal and didn’t bill me for the co-pay; a yoga teacher who graciously allowed me to attend her classes for half price; a friend of a friend who fixed my car and let me pay my bill in monthly installments; and neighbors who left big bags of fresh veggies at my door all summer long.

Asking for help comes out of strength not weakness, and when asked, most people are delighted to grant you a random act of kindness and lend a helping hand.

Put out a call to your village. Back in the day the whole community came together to build a neighbor’s barn. In the same way it takes a network to find a job and you want to cast your search net wide by thinking beyond what you’ve always done for work. Go deep in your past and contact previous bosses, colleagues, clients, professors, college friends, people whose work you admired, and mentors. Be bold! Contact people you don’t know and ask if they can spare time to talk with you about their industry.  

The easiest way to start making a difference in the world is by smiling! Yep, just flash those pearly whites and say hello! At one of my really low points I made it my mission to speak to strangers in the grocery store. Lots of them looked even more sad and worried than I was…like the ones buying groceries for 3 or 4 kids and older folks. So, I smiled at them, and whether it made a difference to them or not, I’ll never know but I felt so much better. Now it’s the most natural thing in the world for me to do wherever I go!

Life is too short and anger is too annoying to carry it around for very long. Anger woke me up at night and badgered me all day long until I chose to let go of it. Being angry hurts you way more than the person or situation you’re pissed at. Learn to forgive, let it go, and move on!

You can be unemployed and still enjoy life! Actually, this is a great time to do things you’ve never had time to do! You might not be able to do all the things you want…like my dream of spending 2 weeks in Tuscany just isn’t going to happen right now, but I watch everything about Italy that comes on the Travel Channel or Food Network. And I’ve watched Under The Tuscan Sun so many times I know the good lines by heart!

You’re the same person with or without a job. What counts is who you are at the core of your being. Oprah says if you’re a poor jerk and one day you make millions of dollars, you simply become a rich jerk. So, it’s not about what you have but how you chose to live your life. You were more than the job title and money you used to make and you’re certainly way more than an unemployed person or statistic. Celebrate who you are!

I recently gave the graduation address at the Community Culinary School of Charlotte, a training program for chronically unemployed adults.  To watch this video, click here.